Reward

"Do you have my stapler?"

It was a classic Office Space moment, complete with sheepish mumbling and a mug of coffee. I giggled, ha ha, you're kidding, huh? She wasn't. It was her good stapler.

I didn't have the good stapler. To my annoyance, I have no stapler at all. To my even greater annoyance, I think about this stuff. Who has the best cube? I'm always wondering. Who has the nicest ergonomic keyboard? Apparently, fluorescent light fries the particular brain cells that tell you, he who dies with the sweetest office supplies...still had to use them.

So, in the heat of the moment, whenever I have a stack of papers threatening to rearrange themselves if they're not immediately fastened together, I'm pretty pissed that they still haven't given me a stapler. What's the holdup? According to our start-of-the-year pep talk, we're an organization steadily on the rise. Our finances are well in line and we're becoming ever more relevant in our field. We, the workers, are to be commended.

Of course, we, the workers, realize and appreciate what we're working for - a society whose priority is the education and support of its members. We know this commendation won't come in the form of gigantic raises. And that's fine. For my part, I'm just hoping they can drop thirty bucks on a really badass Swingline.