The Rest of Us

After a weekend of trying and failing to get into the holiday spirit (i.e. retail blitz mode), I'm thinking of limiting my Christmas celebration this year to cookie-baking and the occasional shower rendition of "O Holy Night." Nobody will be getting beautiful, elaborately decorated gifts. They might be getting a pen.

Instead, I'm gearing up for a Festivus celebration. One of the things I appreciate about Festivus is how little is involved in this gearing up. Mainly, you go about your daily December business, enjoying the true meaning of the holiday (nothing!) and maybe drinking extra. There aren't many rules to follow. Even if you want to be super strict about it, there are just three must-haves (although I like to add nog and a ceremonial rewatching of the Seinfeld episode that made this great holiday famous):

1. The Festivus Pole
2. The Airing of Grievances
3. The Feats of Strength

All pretty easy. The pole doesn't have to be anything fancy, nor does it have to be trimmed or topped with anything. I'll probably use a curtain rod. The airing of grievances comes quite naturally to most people, so I don't bother planning that - I just do it around the dinner table, like always. The feats of strength can be anything you want them to be, from pillow fighting to appliance tossing. (Seinfeld orthodoxy calls for the head of household to challenge anyone of his or her choice to a wrestling match. But that's very formal.)

My family wasn't planning a big Christmas this year anyway. For various reasons, we're all broke - the worst possible thing to be at the holidays. My sister and I suggested we forgo presents and volunteer at a soup kitchen or something, but our parents seem attached to the tradition of preparing herb-stuffed poultry and grating on each other's nerves. I think they'll be amenable to Festivus - or rather, Festivus will be amenable to them. That's the beauty, like I said. It's the holiday for the rest of us.