Don't Go There
Let’s say you’re a man. A big boss-man kind of guy. You’re in charge of four people: one other man, and three women. One day, because you’re a nice big boss-man, you take your four people out to lunch. The restaurant host brings your party to a large booth. Two of the women slide into the near side of the booth, while the third woman makes a quick run to the restroom. You and the other guy slide into the far side of the booth.
The four of you sit, chat, and glance at the menus for a minute. The third woman comes back and is faced with a choice: which side? You mention that that side is roomier because the occupants are “smaller”, so why not sit there? Fine and true. She sits.
Then you push, inexplicably. You make a bet. “I bet,” you say, “that our side weighs more than your side!” That the two men weigh more than the three women. You and the other man quietly confer, and announce your combined weight. The three women glance at each other like, ok, who’s gonna change the subject? Nobody does. So you pick the tiniest woman and make a guess at her weight. It’s close to correct, apparently; she nods. Then you move on to the second woman, who happens to be pregnant. As such, she is still the mid-sized of the three. You guess at her weight. More or less, she says, and gives you the number.
Only one unknown is left. Simple math. The third woman, you compute, would have to weigh more than 130 pounds for the female side to “beat” the male side.
She weighs more than 130 pounds. But it doesn’t feel like a victory.
I’m going to offer you a tip, for the future: don’t go there. It doesn’t matter that you’re really harmless and you meant for it to be just a game to pass the time. It doesn’t matter that the original assertion – I do think – was meant to highlight the small size of the women across the table compared to you. When it comes to weight, don’t go there. It has nothing to do with whether we are large, medium, or small; I have a friend who was recently very offended by someone jumping into a conversation to tell her she needed to eat more. Just don’t go there. And please recognize, because for the love of crap, it’s about time, that any mention of a woman’s physical appearance by men she works with is a diminishment. It is. So don’t go there.
The four of you sit, chat, and glance at the menus for a minute. The third woman comes back and is faced with a choice: which side? You mention that that side is roomier because the occupants are “smaller”, so why not sit there? Fine and true. She sits.
Then you push, inexplicably. You make a bet. “I bet,” you say, “that our side weighs more than your side!” That the two men weigh more than the three women. You and the other man quietly confer, and announce your combined weight. The three women glance at each other like, ok, who’s gonna change the subject? Nobody does. So you pick the tiniest woman and make a guess at her weight. It’s close to correct, apparently; she nods. Then you move on to the second woman, who happens to be pregnant. As such, she is still the mid-sized of the three. You guess at her weight. More or less, she says, and gives you the number.
Only one unknown is left. Simple math. The third woman, you compute, would have to weigh more than 130 pounds for the female side to “beat” the male side.
She weighs more than 130 pounds. But it doesn’t feel like a victory.
I’m going to offer you a tip, for the future: don’t go there. It doesn’t matter that you’re really harmless and you meant for it to be just a game to pass the time. It doesn’t matter that the original assertion – I do think – was meant to highlight the small size of the women across the table compared to you. When it comes to weight, don’t go there. It has nothing to do with whether we are large, medium, or small; I have a friend who was recently very offended by someone jumping into a conversation to tell her she needed to eat more. Just don’t go there. And please recognize, because for the love of crap, it’s about time, that any mention of a woman’s physical appearance by men she works with is a diminishment. It is. So don’t go there.
posted by Tracy at 12:01 AM
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