Idol Tuesday
Don't worry, I won't do it every week. This week, I can't resist.
Seacrest opens with a short tribute to “Jen” Hudson, “our” first Oscar winner. Our first Oscar winner who opted not to thank AI in her jubilant acceptance speech, though God did get a shout-out. Hmm!
The top ten boys are singing tonight. Contestants will be dedicating their performances to people who inspire them, thus ensuring that we're in for a snarkable evening. I smell lots of sappy salutes to grandmothers, girlfriends, and our troops.
Phil ain’t missing us at all, since we been gone. I appreciate the revival of a fun ‘80’s tune. He makes it pretty boring, although he hits one mildly impressive note before the end. R says it was hot. P likes his tone and can hear him on the radio. S is not jumping out of his chair. R gives him the three-yeah salute. I say: meh.
Jared dedicates his performance to Mom and Dad, and then, creepily, sings “Let’s Get It On." I’m sure I don't need to tell you that this is a bad choice. Boy also should not be wearing white sneakers with a suit, or crawling on the floor. R loves his “face-move." P tells him he’s good-looking. S is reminded of the Love Boat. I say: word.
A.J. takes forever to get going, but ends well. R tells him to shake it out, dawg, and then says he has skills. P says he has a real, real, real, real, real voice. S says it was nearly very good. I say: OK, but I’m still not fanning myself over here.
Sanjaya, the gorgeous-hair kid, is stepping out, with his baby. But he does go wrong - by covering up that fab hair with a hat. The worst part is the song choice, though. Kid’s only seventeen, so I’m thinking he’s never really stepped out. R says aww, gawd, it was like a bad talent show. P tells him he was in pitch! S says it was like a ghastly lunch where the parents make the kids sing to guests. I say: oh, honey. Sigh.
Chris S. sings “Trouble”, by Ray Lamontagne, which is an AMAZING SONG that I LOVE. He’s not as good as Ray, but he’s definitely got some soul. R calls it “skills." P says he’s real awesome. S says he used to think Chris was a very good singer and tonight he is indeed still a very good singer. (Yikes, S.) I say: high point, yep.
Nick sings “Fever”, which contains the craptastic lyric “what a lovely way to burn." I get over it though, because his voice is smooth and cool like a [I wanted to have a really good comparison here, but all I can come up with is] stone. R says it was smoky and kinda nice, dude. P praises his tone. S says he looks like he just came from the office and now he’s singing this song. I say: alrighty then.
Blake's future is made of virtual insanity. He wins instant points with me for choosing Jamiroquai, but mucks it up with mediocre vocals. His beatboxing rocks, though. Not gonna win, but I like him. R gives something like a three-dawg salute, he's crazy in love with this one. P says way to go. S separates the performance into three parts and says the beginning was copycat, the middle was great, the ending was a loss. I say: S is right.
Brandon sings “Time After Time", another revival I approve of, but he doesn't pull it off. He's almost surely the most talented in this group, but his performance is dull. R says he likes the dedication to Grams, but he's not showing what he’s got. P says she understands he’s keeping his emotions inside. S tells him to put it out there and make us believe. They get into a debate about feelings. To show or not to show? I say: duh. S is right again, babe. Put it out there.
Chris R., who favors Jason Mraz in almost every possible way, sings “Geek in the Pink." I’m split on this one: the boy can sing, but he’s got a weird quality to his voice. Bzzzz, it kind of sounds like a bee is stuck in his nose. R says it was hotter than the original. P raves. S says it was the best by a mile. I say: really?
Sundance thinks you better slow your mustang down. He's sucked it up big-time for the last three weeks, but he finally busts out the voice we heard in auditions. R gives him the three-wow salute, welcomes him back, and says he dropped the bomb. P says to BRING IT like this every week. S praises, but warns not to get too excited. He can still do better, but it was great. I say: about time, Mr. Head. I knew I wasn’t delusional.
And that’s it for tonight. Tomorrow: the top ten girls, almost all of whom are more interesting than pretty much any of the guys. As usual.
Seacrest opens with a short tribute to “Jen” Hudson, “our” first Oscar winner. Our first Oscar winner who opted not to thank AI in her jubilant acceptance speech, though God did get a shout-out. Hmm!
The top ten boys are singing tonight. Contestants will be dedicating their performances to people who inspire them, thus ensuring that we're in for a snarkable evening. I smell lots of sappy salutes to grandmothers, girlfriends, and our troops.
Phil ain’t missing us at all, since we been gone. I appreciate the revival of a fun ‘80’s tune. He makes it pretty boring, although he hits one mildly impressive note before the end. R says it was hot. P likes his tone and can hear him on the radio. S is not jumping out of his chair. R gives him the three-yeah salute. I say: meh.
Jared dedicates his performance to Mom and Dad, and then, creepily, sings “Let’s Get It On." I’m sure I don't need to tell you that this is a bad choice. Boy also should not be wearing white sneakers with a suit, or crawling on the floor. R loves his “face-move." P tells him he’s good-looking. S is reminded of the Love Boat. I say: word.
A.J. takes forever to get going, but ends well. R tells him to shake it out, dawg, and then says he has skills. P says he has a real, real, real, real, real voice. S says it was nearly very good. I say: OK, but I’m still not fanning myself over here.
Sanjaya, the gorgeous-hair kid, is stepping out, with his baby. But he does go wrong - by covering up that fab hair with a hat. The worst part is the song choice, though. Kid’s only seventeen, so I’m thinking he’s never really stepped out. R says aww, gawd, it was like a bad talent show. P tells him he was in pitch! S says it was like a ghastly lunch where the parents make the kids sing to guests. I say: oh, honey. Sigh.
Chris S. sings “Trouble”, by Ray Lamontagne, which is an AMAZING SONG that I LOVE. He’s not as good as Ray, but he’s definitely got some soul. R calls it “skills." P says he’s real awesome. S says he used to think Chris was a very good singer and tonight he is indeed still a very good singer. (Yikes, S.) I say: high point, yep.
Nick sings “Fever”, which contains the craptastic lyric “what a lovely way to burn." I get over it though, because his voice is smooth and cool like a [I wanted to have a really good comparison here, but all I can come up with is] stone. R says it was smoky and kinda nice, dude. P praises his tone. S says he looks like he just came from the office and now he’s singing this song. I say: alrighty then.
Blake's future is made of virtual insanity. He wins instant points with me for choosing Jamiroquai, but mucks it up with mediocre vocals. His beatboxing rocks, though. Not gonna win, but I like him. R gives something like a three-dawg salute, he's crazy in love with this one. P says way to go. S separates the performance into three parts and says the beginning was copycat, the middle was great, the ending was a loss. I say: S is right.
Brandon sings “Time After Time", another revival I approve of, but he doesn't pull it off. He's almost surely the most talented in this group, but his performance is dull. R says he likes the dedication to Grams, but he's not showing what he’s got. P says she understands he’s keeping his emotions inside. S tells him to put it out there and make us believe. They get into a debate about feelings. To show or not to show? I say: duh. S is right again, babe. Put it out there.
Chris R., who favors Jason Mraz in almost every possible way, sings “Geek in the Pink." I’m split on this one: the boy can sing, but he’s got a weird quality to his voice. Bzzzz, it kind of sounds like a bee is stuck in his nose. R says it was hotter than the original. P raves. S says it was the best by a mile. I say: really?
Sundance thinks you better slow your mustang down. He's sucked it up big-time for the last three weeks, but he finally busts out the voice we heard in auditions. R gives him the three-wow salute, welcomes him back, and says he dropped the bomb. P says to BRING IT like this every week. S praises, but warns not to get too excited. He can still do better, but it was great. I say: about time, Mr. Head. I knew I wasn’t delusional.
And that’s it for tonight. Tomorrow: the top ten girls, almost all of whom are more interesting than pretty much any of the guys. As usual.
posted by Tracy at 10:10 PM
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